in the Eyes of the Beholder (Part 4)
Chuck and Erik
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Which is again behind the cut due to suicidal thoughts, violence against self and others and a bit of swearing.

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in the Eyes of the Beholder (Part 3)
Chuck and Erik
cxellover
This one comes with some warnings for angst, suicidal thoughts, and a little bit of swearing. Since these can be triggery for some people, I am putting this behind a cut

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In the Eye of the Beholder (Part 2)
Chuck and Erik
cxellover
The next couple of days were a bit of a blur for Charles. Between the drugs and not being able to tell what time it was, he felt alone and adrift. Phrases felt fragmented but they kept drifting through his mind. “Bilateral stroke” and “head trama” were two that kept being repeated. And there was the one that he overheard when the Doctor was talking to Erik “hysterical blindness”. His head did ache from where he had struck it on the Blackbird. He knew that his head was swathed in bandages and they had shaved part of his head to get to the injury. It was itching where it was healing and the hair was growing back. They were good about giving him drugs for the pain but there was some pain that drugs couldn’t help. And there were the tests. Test after test after test. He was so sick of being poked and prodded.

His mental abilities had defined so much of who he was that the lack of them made him wonder who he was now. Was he human? A mere mortal? Or would he recover? His thoughts wound round and round on themselves. He tried not to cry when the others were there but he did shed a lot of tears for his loss.

Erik was trying to help but at the same time Charles knew from his tone of voice that Erik felt guilty about what had happened. Charles did put this whole mess at Erik’s doorstep. If he hadn’t driven the coin through Shaw’s head, none of this would have happened.

Charles decided to broach the subject one evening that he knew it was just Erik and him in the room.

Charles turned his head towards where he figured Erik was seated and said “Erik, I don’t blame you.” He figured that the straight approach was better with this man than pussy-footing around.

Erik said “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I had one thing on my mind and look what it cost us.”

Charles didn’t correct him. Erik hadn’t lost a damn thing. He was the one in the hospital bed.

Erik said “I have something to tell you about your condition. The doctors weren’t sure if you should know about it or not but I think it is only right that you have all the information considered I am the one who put you here.”

Charles didn’t disagree with Erik.

He heard Erik get up from the chair he was sitting in and felt him take his hand in his grasp.

“We know that the coin that killed Shaw caused you to have a stroke or rather two strokes as he died and for that I am truly sorry. But the doctors believe that your blindness has something to do with the stroke or it may be hysterical because of what you saw. Your eyes are working fine but they aren’t connecting to your brain.”

“Well I guess there’s hope for me then” said Charles with a chuckle. “Apparently it is all or rather not all in my head.”

Erik gave a dry chuckle as well and said “Charles whatever it is, we will get through this together.”

“Why are you telling me all this now?”

“You are being released from the hospital today. They want you to go to a rehab center but we convinced them that you would be better off with your family. Raven can be very persuasive when she needs to be.”

“Where are we going from here?”

“Home” came the reply.

They drove from Las Vegas to the Xavier estate. That way they could all get back as a group. They bought two decent used cars and trekked back to New York.

Charles slept a good deal of the way back. There was nothing for him to look at since he couldn’t see so he drifted between consciousness and slumber quite a bit. Hank kept a careful eye on him to make sure that nothing else was happening to him.

They got to the mansion and Charles found himself in familiar but unfamiliar surroundings. He knew the mansion very well but that was sighted. It took a bit to adjust to it without being able to see where he was going. He hated feeling helpless and dependent on the others but he put on a brave face in front of them all except Erik.

Erik was the only one who knew how he really felt about all this. Charles even trying to smooth out the edges to his anger and sadden but Erik always seemed to know.

Then there were the headaches that tore through his skull. At this point he would have preferred that Erik had driven the coin through his head rather than Shaw’s. It would be less painful. Again he tried to hide it from the others and again Erik seemed to know that something was wrong.

Charles flipped between begin grateful to being resentful that this one man seem to know him better than anyone else.

Then the seizures started and the world went to hell.

The first one came in the middle of the night when he was alone. His mind seem to fill with light and sound and he could hear everything and anything that was going on in the world. The pressure of so much information in such a short time overwhelmed him and he passed out only to wake up in the dark finding himself dripping in his own sweat and blood coming from his mouth were he bit his tongue. He went to his bathroom and washed himself and went back to bed with his brain feeling numb.

He had his usual cup of tea in front of him but he waited for it to cool because he didn’t need the hot on top of his rather tender tongue.

“Something wrong with your tea?” asked Raven who was sitting across from him.

“Just waiting for it to cool just a bit.”

“Charles, it’s probably stone cold by now” she said “Are you alright? You haven’t been into the liquor cabinet again have you?”

“In reverse order no I haven’t been drinking and yes I am just fine this morning.” Charles drank the tea and then got up and picked up his cane. “I’ll be in the study if any of you need me.”

He went to the study, put on the radio, and managed to dial in the BBC. He listened to the news of the day in Europe and the European views of things going on with the US and Russia. Everyone was scared. He was also listening to see if he could find any information about any other mutants that might be out there.

There was a knock at the study door.

“Come in Erik” said Charles.

Erik walked in and shut the door behind him “You are getting very good at that.”

“You have a rather efficient way of knocking that is quite distinctive.”

“Raven is concerned about you. She said that you didn’t look good and that you had blood under your nose.”

Charles wiped under his nose and could feel dried flakes drifting from his skin. ‘Dammit’ he thought.

Erik came walking around the chair to look at Charles in the light.

“Charles, what the hell happened to you last night?”

Charles opened his mouth to answer when the world when white and the noise forced its way back into his head instead of talking Charles Xavier screamed the unholy scream of one of the damned.

In the Eye of the Beholder (Part 1)
Ouchie
cxellover
Author Note:
This is in Marvel Terms a “what if” that takes place on the beach. What if the coin through Shaw’s skull caused another events to happen? So we are pre-divorce in this one but only by a hair

The feeling of the coin entering Shaw’s skull was painful. Charles could feel the panic in Shaw’s mind as the coin headed towards him. Shaw’s mind was a wild animal willing to gnaw its own leg off to get out of the trap. Charles focus harder on controlling Shaw. Then he started to scream for Shaw as Shaw could not. The coin ripped through Shaw’s head and Charles’ consciousness at the same time. When it dropped out the other end Charles felt Shaw’s life end and he passed out.

Raven saw him go down like a bag of rocks. He struck his head on the metal frame of the Blackbird. She ran over to him. His eyes were open but rolled back into his head. She checked to make sure that he was still alive. He was breathing but it was shallow. Moria came over and the two women tried to make him comfortable on the metal that was the roof of the upside down Blackbird.

Raven left Charles with Moria and went out to get Hank. She saw Erik bring Shaw’s body out for everyone to see and make his declaration.

“You BASTARD!” She screamed at Erik “Do you know what you just did?”

Erik looked at her and in an instant he understood. He ran to the Blackbird to find Moria tending to Charles as best she could.

“We need to get him to a hospital” she said to Erik. The unspoken question was ‘what the hell did you do to him’? Erik nodded and went back outside and got everyone together. They went into the Blackbird and Azazel took them to Shaw’s secret base in Las Vegas just as the bombs hit the beach blowing up what was left of the sub and the plane. The humans believed that they had gotten rid of their mutant problem in one swift blow. Agent McTaggart was written off as collateral damage.

------
Charles awoke in the dark. He had to gather himself for a moment to remember what had happened. A voice startled him.

“Charles, can you hear me?”

It took him a moment to process whose voice it was. Erik that was the name attached with the voice.

“Yes “he said, “I can hear you. Why is it so dark?” Why did his voice sound so strange to him?

There was a pause. “Charles, it’s mid-afternoon.” Came a female voice. It took him a moment but he could put Moria’s face to the voice.

He could feel a hand waving in front of his face but try as he might, he could see nothing. He reached with his mind and then total panic set in. He couldn’t feel or read anyone’s thoughts. He tried to sit up but hands were keeping him down.

“Charles, Charles! You have got to calm down” came Erik’s voice. “Moria go get the Doctor and Hank right now.”

Charles heard footsteps walking away “Erik I can’t see. I can’t see!”

“It will be alright Charles” came his friend’s soothing tones but Charles was not going to be sooth.

He howled “I CAN’T SEE YOU AT ALL!!!”

“Charles, can you see my thoughts?”

Charles felt tears streaming down his face. For the first time in a very very long time he was alone in his thoughts. “No. I can’t sense you at all.”

Erik swore softly in German. “I’m here Charles. I will not leave you.”

Charles swallowed his fear and tried to calm his panicked mind but it was so hard. He felt Erik take his hand and he held onto Erik for dear life. Erik murmured words of comfort but Charles felt totally lost.

A Close Shave
Ouchie
cxellover
Author Notes:

This is the second in what I am going to call the Eagle Series. This one has warnings for consensual Dom/Sub activities. Guy on Guy action both front and back. The use of sex toys. Waxing and some knife play. Like the first story, this takes place in the 1960s in a leather bar so I am going off of the old style Master/Slave or boy. Anyone addressed as boy in this piece is an of age person who would have chosen this position with full knowledge of what might happen to them. Also this is before the AIDs epidemic so the way they use each other would not be considered safe in this day and age but do remember the time.

Again behind the cut because I don’t wanna offend anyone with my little pornlette.

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The Master Plan
Love you
cxellover
Author note: I am putting a big ol’ warning on this one for consensual B/D, guy on guy action in all kinds of ways. I am basing this on the 60s style of leather bars that did exist at the time when most men “earned” their leathers from an older Dom so when I use the term boy I mean a man of age who is a submissive not in anyway a minor.

This one is basically straight up slashy porn.

It’s about 4600ish in length.

Comments are always welcome. It makes me a better writer.


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It's All in the Mind (Part 2 of 2)
Love you
cxellover
The return to the world was slow and not much fun. He had some recollection of some strange dream where he was lying in Erik’s arms on a beach and Erik looked down at him with such concern. Something was wrong but he couldn’t figure out what.

He let out a groan and heard “Charles?” rather tentatively from his friend Erik. He felt that his hand was being held by someone. It took him a moment to regroup and figure out it was Erik’s hand in his. The touch sent both pain and pleasure through his nervous system. What was going on with him?

“Why is the world dark?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Bits and pieces but it seems like a nightmare. And, if I could ask, could you take the volume down a bit, my whole head feels very fragile.” He thought for a moment and said “Did we have another drinking contest?” He heard a low chuckle.

He felt a cool cloth being put on his head. That did make things feel better.

“Charles,” Erik said dropping his voice to almost a whisper, “As near as we can figure out you have an ocular migraine and probably a basilar migraine on top of that. Although the symptoms seem to be much more severe that what happens to most people. But when have you done anything in halves?”

“And my vision?”

“That’s one of the things that they are still sorting out. If it runs true to form, you should be fine but…”

“But?”

“Well we haven’t been able to figure out if the episode has passed or not.”

Charles felt the cloth being removed, dipped into something, wrung out and re-applied. He relaxed at the touch of the cool cloth.

“I can’t see anything right now but I can say that the light show behind my eyes stopped.”

“We darkened the room to protect you. You have been projecting a bit. Darkening the room seems to let you relax and we were running out of aspirin to hand out to everyone here in the complex.”

Charles felt embarrassed. He thought he had himself under control and to be undone by a little head pain.

“It wasn’t a little head pain Charles. I wanted to claw my brain from my skull. I don’t know how you could stand it.”

Charles focused and damped down his projecting. He felt ashamed that he put others through his hell.

“Had them all my life” he replied “Just thought it was normal.”

“No. That is not normal in the least but now we can do something about it. And no more Cerebro until we figure out how.”

Charles nodded and then regretted the motion. “Ow.”

He heard a light knock at the door.

Erik said “Come in.”

The door opened and much to Charles’ relief he could see the outline of the person coming into the room.

“I can see!” he said in triumph and then winced at the sound of his own voice.

“Well that’s a start” said the man in the door “Professor Xavier, I am Dr. Lancaster. I am a neurologist who specialized in migraines and other brain disorders.” He closed the door plunging the room back into darkness. He turned on a small flashlight and made his way to Charles’ bed.

“Let’s see how you are doing.” He took the flashlight and shown it into Charles’ eyes.

Charles was most grateful that he could see the light being shown in his eyes even if it was a bit bright and painful.

“I think it would be alright to turn on a lamp in here” said Dr. Lancaster.

Erik crossed to the dresser and turned on a small lamp. Charles blinked a bit and looked around just grateful to be able to see his room.

“Do you still have a headache?” asked the Doctor.

“Dull roar right now. But everything seems so….”

“Elevated?”

Charles nodded.

“That may take a day or so to sort out. You had quite an episode.”

Charles focused on Erik who looked rumpled. Charles couldn’t remember a time he had seen Erik rumpled.

“How long?”

“Two days” said Erik.

“We had to sedate you for one of them due to your….abilities” Dr. Lancaster said carefully.

Charles felt even more shame. “Sorry about that. I am usually much more under control.”

“So I understand. Fortunately Mr. Lensherr seem to be able to get through to you.”

Charles tried to move his legs and found it hard to do so.

“After effects of the narcotics,” said Erik.

“It will wear off soon. I’ll leave you in Mr. Lensherr’s capable hands. Just take it easy for a while and I strongly suggest that you limit your use of Cerebro to no more than an hour a day if that.” Dr. Lancaster left the room closing the door quietly behind him.

Erik took the cloth off of Charles’ head and dipped it in the bowl next to the bed, wrung it out and replaces it.

“Thank you” said Charles.

Erik shrugged “It was nothing. I use to do the same thing for my mother when she got bad headaches.”

Charles got a quick glance at Erik helping his mother when his father was at work until Erik shut it down.

He took Erik’s hand in his own and though carefully ‘No Erik. Really thank you. You kept me balanced. Somehow I knew you were there for me.’

Erik leaned in and kissed Charles on the cheek “How could I not? Now rest.” He left Charles to recover and went to tell the others that the Professor was fine.

It's All in the Mind (Part 1 of 2)
Love you
cxellover
Author Note:
I suffer from ocular migraines and have had since childhood. I also can’t take a whole list of drugs for them because my body decided that it had to be allergic to a component in many of the more powerful drugs so I have learned over time how to deal with them. So this is the migraine from my perspective which may be different from other forms of migraines. For one thing I have two forms of migraines. The ocular ones are annoying but usually are accompanied by a minor if that headache and they tend to go away as fast as they arrive. The other is the “put me in a very dark room and leave me alone type that leaves me sensitive to everything and anything. Fortunately I seem to have most of that under control now.

I am upping the effects on poor Charles to an extreme point that really don’t happen to most sufferers of these types of headaches. If you have any questions feel free to ask.


It started with just a headache after a prolong session with Cerebro. Charles didn’t think much of it. He had dealt with headaches his whole life and chalked it up to a side effect of his mutation. Headaches were part of life for him. A couple of aspirin and some coffee or tea and he could put everything back to a dull roar that he could stand. If that didn’t work, a dark quiet room with a good drink and some more aspirin did it.

He kept at it trying to keep his pain from projecting to the others around him. He could see concern on Erik’s face but Charles’ smiled and tried to cheer his friend up with a couple of quips. Afterwards he went to bed and drew the curtains closed tight.

The next morning everything seemed back on an even keel. His head felt fine and he was ready for another session with Hank’s magical device. He was looking forward to it. He enjoyed touching that many minds and seeing how many mutants were really out there. He had felt alone for so long and then it seemed to be just him and Raven. Now he knew that there were 100s of mutants out there. Some knew they had abilities and others were clueless.

Erik looked at him with some concern.

“What?” asked Charles.

“Are you sure you are up for this?” asked Erik.

“Yes. Right as rain, Erik. You do worry too much sometimes.”

“Apparently you haven’t looked in a mirror this morning. You look like you went 10 rounds with Cassius Clay.”

Charles chuckled, “I’m fine Erik. I promise you that if I were not, we would take the data that have and go with that.”

Erik gave him a look that didn’t need him to read any thoughts. Erik didn’t like this situation at all.

They went to join Hank in the chamber. Hank hooked Charles up and they spent another couple hours gathering data on mutants around the world. Hank turned the machine off and Charles fell forward catching himself on the railing in front of him.

“Charles!” both Hank and Erik yelled.

Charles held up and hand and brought himself back to his feet “I’m all right. I’m all right. Just got a little dizzy there.”

Erik gave him a hand and helped him down the steps and back to the compound.

“Charles, this is foolishness.”

Charles decided to try to distract him “Chess tonight? My room?”

Erik’s face didn’t brighten at all but he said “You’re on. I’ll bring the drinks. And Charles, I know what you are trying to do. This conversation is not over.”

After dinner the two men went to Charles’ room and set up the chess board where they had left it. Charles was contemplating his next move when he noticed something odd. His left eye wasn’t focusing. He closed it and could see out of the right eye.

“Squinting is not going to help you Charles. Your Queen is in danger of being taken.” Erik said with a laugh.

Charles opened his left eye and closed his right, In the middle of his left eye there was a blind spot and it seemed to be increasing quickly. He quelled the panic rising in his chest. He opened his right eye only to find that there was a blind spot there as well with a serious light show going on. The panic just increased. There was a roaring in his ears as the world went dark with pretty light patterns shooting across the dark.

He felt himself being shaken and heard Erik say “Charles! Charles!” He tried to look in Erik’s direction but couldn’t figure out where his friend was.

“Erik. Please stop shaking me. It is only making it worse.”

“Charles what’s wrong.”

“Well to be honest, I can’t see a bloody thing.” He felt Erik wave his hand in front of his face. He tried to keep his voice as calm as possible but it was hard to keep the panic from it.

“Stay there. I’ll get help.”

Charles sat in the chair when the headache hit like someone hit him upside the head with a brick in a sock. He let out a yell and pitched out of the chair clutching his head.

He could hear people saying his name and shaking him. He just wanted them to leave him alone. He tried to focus his thoughts but he couldn’t. He was worried that he would hurt someone by projecting. He then felt someone pick him up and carry him to his bed. He heard curtains being drawn. There was a needle prick at his arm and all went to blackness.

The Professor and the Lady
Chuck and Erik
cxellover
Author Note:

This is sort of a sequel to The Professor and the Doctor where I mash Dr. Who with X-men. You don't have to read one to get the other.

There is not even any language in this one just some serious drinking.

It is about 1450 words and thus behind a cut to save my friends pages.

I hope you enjoy it and I do love commentary.

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Under the Surface (The Whole Story)
Chuck and Erik
cxellover
This was from a prompt at First Class Kink that caught my eye. I hope you like it. Except for a few words which makes it PG and the usual angst along with self mutilation, this one is pretty calm.

Here is the prompt
Post-movie story:

The Divorce happened but after few weeks/months Erik came back to Charles. He feels guilty about crippling Xavier and tries to earn his (already-given) forgiveness. They're again close friends but they haven't got back yet to being lovers. Erik doesn't want to pressure Charles - and he's very relieved that his dear friend didn't stop being cheerful and full of optimism, that his disability hasn't changed his personality.

One day though Erik sees Charles legs; they look horrible, scarred, covered in bruises, crusts etc.
It turns out that Charles' optimism is just a facade; and that he hurts his "useless" legs when he's stressed, angry or depressed.

H/C please ;__;


It’s about 5775 words so I am putting it behind the cut.

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